The Battle for Barad Guldur (epic poem)

Well we finally made it to the LT again this Sunday. Two weeks previous we had our attempt thwarted by Durchest, in the end we had another go on the Sunday and then went to Helegrod, last week a massive Server fail prevented us logging on on the Friday so again we missed out. We still didn’t get him down but the fight feels more controlled and it will only be a matter of time.

But anyhow, in the meantime, Rhiannon, official poet-in-residence, has written another poem for us all to enjoy. If anyone wishes to take it away and set it to a rousing tune for your Raid group to sing in TeamSpeak (substituting names as appropriate), feel free.

*sits by the fire and taps a steady rhythm on her war drum*

Through the doors of the dark tower,
Everyone’s mood can be so dour.
A tank goes left and one goes right,
Run in!  Run out!
Fight, Fight, Fight!

Call your targets, front and back.
Left behind and the world goes black.
All these goblins!  More than a few!
Lightning! Lightning!
Pew! Pew! Pew!

Uruks to the front of us,
Wargs to the rear.
Quick, Beoras needs a beer.

Now Rhiannon’s shrieking,
“GOBLINATED!”
So, you better be DPS traited.

Slowly, slowly up the stairs,
Torvik’s voice is starting to wear.
Time ticks on.  Has it been hours?
Fellowship manuever!
Power! Power!

The final staircase looms ahead.
Idris really should be in bed.
Two final suits!  Lag!  Ack! We’re doomed!
Mez that warg!
Boom!  Boom!  Boom!

Uruks to the front of us,
Wargs to the rear.
Quick, Beoras needs a beer.

Now Rhiannon’s shrieking,
“GOBLINATED!”
So, you better be DPS traited.

Now it’s time to face Durchest.
Is that dwarf really wearing a dress?
Suit squares off on curse-ed three.
Fear pot! Fear pot!
All to me!

Soldiers coming one by one.
Lighting torches just for fun.
Remove corruptions immediately!
Burn him down!
NOW you can pee.

Uruks to the front of us,
Wargs to the rear.
Quick, Beoras needs a beer.

Now Rhiannon’s shrieking,
“GOBLINATED!”
So, you better be DPS traited.

I bet you hope this song is done,
Well, like the tower it’s just begun.
The elves move in and set up camp.
Loot coin!  Loot coin!
Head up the ramp!

Even minstrels need a break.
And for the reader’s sanity’s sake.
I’m pausing here now don’t be stunned.
I’ll be back!
Run!  Run! Run!

*puts down her drum and disappears into the gloom*

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About Berath

Interests: zombies, giant robots, kittens

Posted on November 29, 2010, in LoTRO, mmorpg, poetry, raiding and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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